Kung-Fu Theater Memoirs (circa. 1970's-80's)

The age of four was when my earliest memories were formed. These are also the most vibrant and emotional memories as I can actually fall back and feel what it was like in the beginning. Not for any long duration of time or something to that effect. But brief flashes of emotion of wonder, freedom, and happiness. The only thing that was needed of any of us back then was to have fun, and not to misbehave.

So back then when the grass was green and warm from the sun, and the kiddie pool in the backyard was as fun to empty as is way to fill with the garden hose. The fam lived on the second floor of a three story apartment building. Helping a younger version of my father shovel the driveway and me diving into the snow banks he created. He would laugh at what a simpleton his son was, then after some enticing, would jump in along with him.

My Mother was, and is a stay at home wife. It was actually really nice to have her with me daily, although I did find the need to create a couple make believe friends. Gardner and Squealer. They lived for exactly what their names purport. Gardner planted fruits and vegetables in all the rooms in the apartment. Tomatoes in the bathroom, green peppers and apples in the living room. Squealer always tattled on every little mistake and bad thing Gardner would do. I'm sure a psychologist could have a field day with this one.

So me and my make believe friends were playing one day, and after one of my Mother's shows I heard drums beating, and flutes playing, and an oriental woman singing. Then, men meeting in a barren land for a standoff. Impossible feats of strength and cartoonist like gore took hold of the screen and my full on attention. This was Kung-fu theater. My friends and I sat down and watched the hour long program on WSBK TV 38 each afternoon. This was the same channel that brought us King Kong in 3-D, provided you bought the T.V. guide that supplied the flimsy glasses.

From there on it I was hooked and watched the seemingly same stories occur. But the style in which the fighters held themselves, plus the different fighting styles they had to learn, emulated what I wanted from life. Body control, discipline, and sex appeal. I learned the Snake and Crane in the living room. Boulder Fist in the backyard. Internal Zen at night to harness the most from sleep. I became a fan then and took Tae Kwon Do for three years and got to an orange belt before I started experimenting with toxicants and had to step out in honour of the art. From the DNZ to the old Jackie Chan flicks when he was twenty. Laughing Hyena is a must have.

To insane hand slaps, courage and honor gained, and mouths spitting blood. Kung-Fu Theater.