What in the Sam Hell was That! - (A Weekend of Oxycodone)

Tom Brady - He makes being "Metro" okay.

What a whacked out last four days. "A" went and had nasal surgery done last Thursday. She had polyps removed from her sinuses and a growth removed from her uvula. The punching bag thingy in the back of her throat. Not her vulva. Anyways, so I visited her from work on Thursday afternoon and she was all messed up. Fat lip, nose tampons, the whole shebangabang. I wanted to stay until visiting hours were over after work so I let my English teacher know the situation. This was his response in an e-mail a couple hours before the end of work on Thursday.
>
>Beo: Yeah Mr. K****, I would like to miss this evenings class because a loved one is having surgery. Would that be okay with you?
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>Mr. K****: The class is essential. Think in terms of losing a letter grade from semester grade and really expending much extra time to make up for what you lose.
>
>Beo: Okay, thanks.

So I went to class that evening and nothing happened that was educationally enriching. So I asked Mr. K**** why was it such a big deal to make this class. "Attendance.", he said. Real nice, your a cool guy buddy. So I took Friday off and was "A"'s official male nurse. She was fortunate to get her "friend" on Friday as well, so she was slowly turning into an injured spawn death demon from emotional hell. Not good times. We had to flush her blood clotted nostrils out. It was kinda nice since I had to take care of her. I'm a nurturer, and like to make others feel better.

Then Saturday night came and "A" was in and out of consciousness, as was I throughout, because of the oxycodones she was taking. We wound up watching, and TiVo'ing Tom Brady on Saturday Night Live. I'll tell you what, I love Tom Brady. I talked about people that you look up to and want to emulate. Tom is one of those guys for me. He is part of the reason that I went to go back to play football again. He made me feel like anything was possible again. This dude will never be able to grasp the effect he has had on people. The biggest thing is that he is a full blown "Metro", if not possibly gay. Hey, you never know. But because of him, I actually feel more comfortable with my own metrosexuality. Yeah, I guess I can be a little feminine sometimes. Sure, it can scare me that I think a kitty is cute; or I want to fly kites. But with "Metro" Tom, everything is all good.

The Saturday Night Live skits were horrendous, and Tom Brady has little to no comedic talent. Which only made it the more embarrassingly funny. Good for Tom though man, he caught a ride on the perfect American dream. Took advantage of it to the fullest, and may come out being the greatest sports story of my time. Guess whose team he plays for? Just amazing what this guy has done. To think I was actually calling for Damon Huard when Bledsoe went down. Tom is just a true and blue American dorky kid. The only thing that makes him different is that he throws a football, and the team he plays for won three Superbowl with him at quarterback. The guy isn't even 28 yet.

"A" and I, by then end of the weekend we were going for each others throat. If she got up it was to scream that something wasn't cleaned up or I hadn't done this yet. I constantly cleaned throughout the weekend. But as time goes on, things start to get dirty. Most people understand this.

"A" would say, "Brian, I asked you to clean up the kitty litter like an hour ago!"

Beo would say, "Yeah, I just cleaned the dishes. I am going to get to that okay."

"A" - "Well, you gotta keep up. Stop being a deaf retard." - me in utter shock :O

Beo - "Your acting like a psycho injured whore.", I said.

We never swear at each other, so we sat in silence in bed and ordered The Spongebob Squarepants movie On Demand. After the first half and hour we began to giggle at the movie together.

"I'm sorry I called you a whore.", I said.

"I'm sorry I called you a deaf retard.", "A" said.

"Well, at least yours was true." I laughed and said, as we hugged and watched the rest of the movie.