Horrid Confessions VI:


It was a rain soaked evening and we had just finished playing a show at a club about a half a decade ago. I had somehow acquired friendships with a couple of people I no longer see. Yet, that night I somehow invite both of them to sleep over at my house. I met them when I worked at a convenience store gas station. One of the sharp rocky points I had to hit on my way down to my own personal rock bottom. I time where I thought it would be okay to kill megabucks and lottery ticket addicts, because they had such little in respect; that it might be considered a favor.

The funny thing is how you find a subculture of life when you work graveyard, and evening shifts at a gas station. People actually come to talk to employees, and then become friends with the people that work there I guess. They sip on coffee and act like they don't mind spending their time at a gas station. Some people seem like they don't want to go home to their families to soon. Some seem young and lost, and some seem like they really have no other place to turn for some kind of friendship. It was pretty refreshing actually, at first. Then the insides of people spill out after time, and become part of your world.

I became friends with a young guy who would stop in and talk to the coffee shop people inside the store, and then he asked me a question. I answered and he came over to introduce himself. We would joke, and talk about sports. He showed up more and more at night, and I began to suspect that maybe this dude was a little to cool with me. Funny enough, right around this time he started talking about some guy that was bothering him and glided through enough innuendo that he had to blurt out that he was homosexual and I stated to him that it was cool, and I actually tried to give him some advice on the situation he was in. I then made it known that I wasn't into that type of thing.

He still continued to come to the store yet, he began to bring young female friends of his. They were the bubbly, just getting out of high school age I believed he must have been. They would flash their breast in the store and do other types of flirtatious behavior. All the while the guy/kid would start talking like a girl, and calling his girl-friends sluts for showing their boobs and whatnot. As you could guess, I was very confused by all this. Here is this kid letting me know he's gay, so I worry about having him showing up at the store too much. Now he starts routinely bring around boisterous young girls for his visits.

So after time, I invite him to bring some girls to a show for my band. He ends up coming with one girl, and she wasn't what we would want to bring home to Mom. The night goes on, and the girl is flirting with me and letting me know how she should sleep over. All the while, the homosexual kid is laughing and partying through my own blurred memories. So I break, and I tell the girl she can sleep over. My friends try to save me and tell me not to go home with her. I didn't care. I was already in my own hell, why not invite someone else.

The thing is, is that the girl said the homosexual guy had to sleep over too. I though about this for a minute, and said okay. Why?.....I have no idea. But it's not going where you're probably thinking, so don't worry.

We arrive back at my parents house, and we headed upstairs to my bedroom as the girl and guy trail in behind me. I sat down in a chair and said, "So, what's the deal here?" Quietly, the girl slowly straddled up my leg and place one of her breasts in my mouth while the gay guy watched. I strange smile came over his face as I saw his head over her shoulder. It was oddly uncomfortable enough for me to stop and say, "We should hit the light." But arousingly dangerous enough for me to tell the gay guy, "You are sleeping on the floor." Which he nodded in agreement.

So when the lights were hit me and this girl engaged in acts, while the guy laid on the floor in the dark. I had to stop at one point, because no matter how many toxins I was under there was not going to be a mistake made, and have me regret doing this for the rest of my life. Not from a situation like this. So I went across the hall to a spare room where I stashed condoms. I could hear the guy and girl giggling together in my bedroom behind me. "What in the hell was I doing?", I thought to myself. "Where the hell was I going in my life? I'm about to make love to a girl in my room with a gay man on the floor. Is there something wrong with that?" I had no idea.

So I decided to treat her like the trash she was acting like, and to totally ignore the fact that the dude was there. Knowing full well that if there was ever a time when someone might try to do something homosexually stupid to me, it would be now. All worked out well though. I got what I wanted, she got what she wanted, and the guy....who the hell knows. But I guess I hoped he enjoyed it too. After that night I decided to cut ties with both of them. I was just sickened by the event, as I just didn't like the direction I was headed with these people I barely knew. Plus, I got fired from the gas station too.

The last time I saw the girl was actually this weekend, oddly enough. The guy, I told him I no longer wanted to hang out, and the last time I saw him was when I started my current job a few years back. He was actually waiting for me at the top of a stairwell as I was coming off the train going to work. I was in shock, and a little nervous that he was there since it was about 6am. I told him that he shouldn't do that, and I had to get to work. What does it all mean?