Your in all Anxieties
Why do I sometimes get "Stage Fright" at the Urinal?
This is something women never have to deal with. I get sever anxieties sometimes when I am taking a piss and I guy comes and stands right next to me and starts pissing too. Why? I bet a psychologist would have a field day with that one also. I start to over-think and all of a sudden, I can feel my urethral valve constricting. It actually starts to give me pain and I find myself thinking of things to relax myself into pissing. Moon craters was my first thought. Then unfortunately, and I mean no disrespect by this, I thought of urinating on a woman. Then I realized how ridiculous I was being, but by then it's just to damn late because you're embarrassed about being a freaking fool. What is the big deal? Who cares, just piss?
Sometimes, it is that easy. Especially if I've been drinking a little bit. I just go in the bathroom from a bar and just piss with people talking, and next to me and whatnot. But, I think the alcohol dumbed down all the over activity in my brain, or the little voices so to speak. (I stopped drinking, unfortunately in January.)
I wonder what the problem is? I appreciate my genital size. I have been hit on by gay men, so I think sometimes I worry that the guy next to me may be gay. But why should that bother me? Do I feel vulnerable or something? Am I just such a sicko in the head that I think the other person may be a sicko too, and that makes me uncomfortable standing next to myself. The doors are endless to unlock, and I'm willing to take any opinion. So I'll end this off with an embarrassing "Urinal Stage Fright" story.
About six years ago I was at a movie theater during slow hours. There must have only been a few people in the whole place and I had seen a movie with an ex-girlfriend at the time. So I told her that I had to go to the bathroom, and to wait up for me. So I head in, and I mosey on up to a urinal, and just as I was about to go; two dudes walk in. One was beatboxing, the other was rapping. Instant shut off material, but unfortunately I had to go since halfway through the movie, so this was very painful to hold in. So I zip up, and darted into a toilet stall and instantly relieved myself. You know what the two dudes started doing. They friggin' started laughing at me outside the stall. What would you do in that situation, and why was I in that situation? I was pissed, and embarrassed. I waited for them to leave, and then I told my ex-girlfriend the whole story when I met up with her outside the bathroom. Yeah, I know you didn't need to know that story.
p.s. - Does anyone know what happened to Thurston from Scattered Thoughts of an Aborted Mind? I may have to do another R.I.P. post for a deceased blogger.
posted by Beo @ 3:38 PM
13 Comments:
Hahahaha...that happens to me too. Im fucked at concerts....beo u suck!
I think that is normal. A lot of guys are freaked out by having "company" at the urinal. Hell I would be freaked out too! That's why I'm glad I have to use a stall! But still, when I know someone is next to me in a stall, I usually hold my piss until that person leaves. I'm sorry but I just don't like the fact that people can hear me pissing! Well I hope you feel a little bit better about this! See ya later!
Take a hard left next time you go for a drive rob.
Thanks steph, yeah I think it's the overly personal aspect of having to listen to, or having your own piss heard. Who is the person who said, "Ah, it's a mens room. Lettem' piss next to each other."?
I'll take a hard left into you..so you can soil your man thongs. What!?? you didn't hear me?? Open your fucking ear!
You're not alone here. I think I finally figured out where my trauma stems from. Remember back in the day when Fenway had the troughs with ice that everyone stood in front of to piss? I remember being about 5, having to go and getting embarassed because mine was the smallest one there....you'd think I would be over this by now....WTF!
E, I came so close to posting a urinal trough instead of the pic I posted for this. Then I was going to write underneath, I remember these babies in the old Foxboro Stadium. They were creepy, but they were cheap. You would be pissing and watching all the other guys piss run by you collecting into one another, and I would stand there as a young boy pissing and thinking, "What a sick species we are." So ironic you mention that, we must be related.
Hopefully E, writing about it will give you some solace and maybe even get you to overcome it at some point. I sure hope I do.
P.s. E, I'm sure there was someone there with a smaller penis. That is probably just an insecure manifistation that humans love to create.
The worst thing is when you're about to piss -- and someone walks in and you just cant get it out. Then you usually have to just flush the urinal and pretend that you went.
Pretty embarrasing.
But I dont have a problem when its urinals with a little mini-wall between them -- then at least others arent watching you piss.
--
The question is- - is this because of society and the way we were brought up -- or is it natural for humans to be shy about that sort of thing?
Great point David, I've done that a few times myself. Ah, I'm so glad I'm not the only one. Don't you just feel retarded flushing nothing. Then you'll clean your hands afterwards for nothing either. HA.
I think it must be that we all know that piss and feces is gross to society, so someone else listening to it is kind of disturbing.
But what about all the guys who could care less. Where did my mentality, or thiers', go horribly wrong.
The mini wall dosen't do it for me. The other persons head is always still visible. Peripheral vision is a bitch.
P.s. - the other thing I do sometimes is stick my finger in my one ear, and go into a mental cave state. I must look odd pissing with my finger in my ear, but it works sometimes.
I can't explain the relief when I walk into a bathroom and see seperators between the urinals. The troughs. *shutter*
You ever look up from a urinal and see a guy staring at you?
That might be why I get stage freight x.x
very very akward;
Fourtunetly Dav.di, I've never had that happen.
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