This One Goes out to Rao.

The Father of Beo is a unique individual.


I always loved to hear this song whenever my father blared it during his baths. A man that tormented as much as he taught.

But it's funny. All the things he didn't know how to teach, my wonderful Mother was there. She lost her way further on in life, but has recently found her way again, as have I. I sometimes wonder if it was my fault that my Mother fell apart, because I fell apart too. But, I know better that it was all our faults. Each one of us were to blame. I'll save my Mother for another time.

My Father is one of those meat and potato relics. Get home after work, and have a couple beers in a hot bath with Led Zeppelin (Elvis, AC/DC, Pink Floyd, Pearl Jam, ect...) blaring at top volume. So much so, that my mother would furiously have to compepte by turning up the T.V. volume. He taught me how to ice fish in the blistering cold, yet I would never have known what a great feeling it was to ice skate with an entire pond at your feet. Or how good bratwursts with potatoes, and sauerkraut with butter and pepper over a fire in the woods was for lunch. Everything he taught me came with as much good, as bad. Teaching me how to push myself, so that I'd know those levels can be reached. He would be aggressive with me, taunting me at most points because of his own bitter attitude toward life. That, and the fact that I felt they didn't respect me, so I didn't show them any respect. My father quoted that one himself.

But I love him though. More than anything in the world. I realize how much they shaped my character and outlook on life, and I'm thankful for that. Dad is pretty quick with hugs when he's had a couple. Doesn't necessarily liked to be touched when he's sober. So that's when I would try to get my hugs from him. Just to piss him off. I know, I suck. This is a man that routinely walked around with no clothes because he proclaimed, "This is my effing house," and nicknamed his penis, "The Dookah." God, I wish I was kidding.

He is the greatest, and worst person you'd ever want to meet. But, aren't we all in some respects. I listened to this song today, and it brought back so many memories that it made it easy to post this. I love you Dad. You taught me about rock and roll, and life before I even realized it existed. Which makes me so sad when I hear this song, and I think about the fact that his goal in life was to raise his kids as best he could, and work hard to pay bills. Now that raising the kids is all done, all that's left is to keep paying bills. I wish I could go back and be your child again, just so could do it again (at least the fun parts). It pains me horribly when I think that someday, he won't be here for me to tell him, "Thank you," one last time.