Life, is a Million-to-One Shot

I thoroughly apologize for not posting in my daily manic ritual. Life is filling itself with endless things to accomplish. Most, are more trivial than not.

I'd also like to apologize for my mostly sour attitude towards society, and life in general.

I post normally when my emotions are at their most primal. I feel that makes it more interesting. But, the truth is that I'm bombarded with new responsibilities, and I'm having trouble coping with the stress, and I don't even have children yet.

I've been fighting to get financial aid to cover my next two semesters in college, and it has been an unending bureaucracy of foolishness. Sign this form, and call this person. It would be easier for you to gain financial aid if you had children here, or more problems here. In America, you're punished educationally if you're responsible. Because there are just to many poor slobs out there that deserve a chance, and that's the life I live in. Yet, I still live check to check, while floating on a small amount of emergency money that never seems to get any more substantial.

I take my stress out on people at work, and my dearly loved fiance at home. What a man I am. But, I'm beginning to regroup, and the song you are hopefully listening to, plays exactly to the primary emotions in my life. With intermittent upheavals, and reflection points where you gather yourself together, and try to come back even stronger. When, really deep down inside you just want to curl up and sleep. My analytical awareness can be a demon sometimes. Such a long, and unpaved road lies ahead. But, as long as I have a voice in my head like that of Mickey from Rocky, I'll be damned if I let anything but the strongest muscle in my body stop me. That, and having the love of my life beside me that believes in us no matter where we end up. "A", and I have our constant ups and downs, but we both know what we want deep down, and we say it. I just get so stressed, and take it out on who ever is around me. I'm sorry.

Do you know, I cry whenever I watch the Rocky movies?

Yeah, I know Bill Simmons loves the Rocky movies too, but before he ever wrote about it in his site I was with my Father in drive in's watching the first and second one crying in the back seat of our car. The fact that any human being can give everything they have inside, and come up big sometimes makes everything seem worthwhile. Then Rocky III came out, and to me personally, blew everything out of the water. I knew then that even though as a young child, I had learned to push myself more than others, that as long as I continued to do so, I was going to make it. Unbelievable how a movie can be so reassuring. I knew I also wanted to be in love as well, because when Rocky would be bloodied and hurt he would dedicate the entire battle to his love Adrian. She would proclaim her love to him in his ear through the chaos, and one battle could be marked up on the chalkboard as a win. Absolute poetry. I even love the very last Rocky, Rocky V, because Sly was contractually obligated to do the film, and that can happen in life as well. You've got to do something, because you promised you would. In that regard, it makes me love the movie as well. A serving ending to a movie that "had to do, what it had to do." Plus, Rocky lost it all in the end. Just like we all will in a mortal sense.

By the way, Mick (Burgess Meredith) from Rocky was a seasoned actor (that is the quote you hear), and his character, while not very insightful in the ring, demanded the most out of a spirit, and that was what was needed to ring through in the movie. When he passed in Rocky III, it was emotional for the whole cast, as a true iconic motion picture character was laid to rest.

I hope Sylvester Stallone receives a Nobel prize someday. For quantifying the true essence of the human spirit.

I shall try to keep my act together, and be more of the person I know I can be. Even while I gasp for breath in the quagmire.