The Children are Looking for a Way Out.

"Scott Moody's grandparents and his mother were at the Riverside High School senior awards ceremony Thursday night!?!
Scott was smiling throughout the ceremony!?!?!"
- Riverside School Superintendent Bernie Pachmeyer

Scott Moody carried a heavy burden growing up - perhaps too heavy for any one kid, people close to the 18-year-old said.

Throughout the years, his family farm struggled financially - owing about $45,000 in back property taxes - and they had trouble keeping up with the demanding workload, friends and neighbors said.

Deputies of the Logan County Sheriff's Office said Tuesday afternoon violent video games and anti-depressants didn't play a factor in the shooting spree that claimed six lives Sunday and left a seventh victim in critical condition at The Ohio State University Medical Center in Columbus.

"He had quite a bit on his shoulders and the farm was in trouble financially," said Bret Davidson, 18, of 504 S. Carlisle St., Quincy, who was close friends with Scott. "But he'd never get mad easily. He didn't lose his temper."

Whatever made Scott allegedly shoot four family members and two family friends before reportedly turning the gun on himself hours before his graduation may never be known, Sheriff Michael Henry said.

The answer is tied to what happened around between 7 a.m. and 9:30 a.m. Sunday at his grandparents' 2337 W. State Route 47 farmhouse, a house known to have several guns, during the time of daily farm chores, detectives believe.

Bret stayed the night at Scott's 2647 W. State Route 47 farmhouse. If he hadn't gotten up at 6 a.m. Sunday to go home and do work on his family farm, he believes he could have been an eighth victim.

"Scott was asleep when I left the residence (at 6 a.m.)," Bret said. "There weren't any problems when I left."

He said Stacy's friend, whom he did not know by name, was still at the residence. That boy, who Bret said is from the West Liberty area, left at 7
a.m.

"The farm was under great stress," said family friend and neighbor Clifford Kelly, 65, of 3043 W. State Route 47. "When I was a kid, it used to be a nice dairy farm. It was showplace-like. But it started going down hill about 10 to 12 years ago."

During the last decade, the 450-acre farm has been dealt one-blow after another, neighbors said. As Scott grew up, the family relied more heavily on him for work and he struggled to keep up with the demanding labor of dairy farming. To make things worse, he got stuck in the middle of some family disputes, people close to the family said.

"Scott was looking forward to being able to farm and help his grandpa and be a farmer and get the farm back under its feet," Mr. Kelly said, explaining that he's lived next door for 19 years and he's known the family all his life.

With four of the victims being from the Riverside School District, school officials are working to help those in distress by the loss of their classmates.

Outside the school today, the flag flies at half staff.

Riverside Superintendent Bernie Pachmayer said the school was open today until 3 p.m. and grief counselors are available for students, staff and anyone else who needs it, including responders to the shootings.

Consolidated Care counselors, guidance staff from Indian Lake and Benjamin Logan school districts and local ministers also will be available at the high school Thursday from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. Riverside counselors are to be at the school next week Monday through Friday from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.

Consolidated Care counselors will assist from 8 a.m. to noon Tuesday.

"We're going to organize our thoughts (today) to see what needs to be done," Superintendent Pachmayer said.
By Brian J. EvansExaminer Staff Writer6/1/05

I think sometimes, the right to choose can be the most painful to take away.

My Affinity for T-Shirts

I love a T-Shirt with character and meaning.
A flair of cynicalness doesn't hurt either.

I just wanted to make aware of a small little company that is making some really cool T-Shirts. Fat American has only a small number of T-Shirts for sale, but each one is as controversial as it is cool. So take a gander and I'm sure there will be one that you'll love, or be offended by.

No matter what, I will own the "Come See Iraq" one at some point in the near future. I actually found this site because I was searching for a "Wal-Mart Sucks" T-Shirt online and found the "Sweat-Shop" one at Fat American. I would like to get that one as well at some point, but the Iraq one will be first because I have a "Come See Booth Bay Harbor" one that looks just like it. There is nothing like a funky odd shirt.

But it is so much more rewarding when you find an unintentional one. Like I have a green ring T for a stock firm back in 1983 called "Investigo". Now that, you can't replicate. I have a Burgundy colored shirt that has a basketball logo and "Poconos Basketball Camp" around it, and a million more I would love to talk about but I have to do work for the next eight hours so I can be free for the other sixteen.

I'd like to say that I'm happy to know that Con40 is reading this blog from out in Iraq and I am working on getting the Iraq T-Shirt shipped to him out there for his last reaming month. That way all the new troops coming in can see that it's all just a vacation out in Iraq if you have the right mindset.

George W. Bush

Hey,....at least he's having fun with it.
(Double click on the text to play video of it!)

Going Where We only Dare to Dream

The real life picture, and artistic drawing of Voyager 1 has reached a part of space we can only dream about. I'm here to try to help us grasp it.

Voyager 1 was launched on September 5, 1977. So this puppy is a tiny bit older than me. It has past all the planets in our Solar System and has reached what NASA likes to call "Termination Shock." How about that for the name of a band, huh? This is a violent zone that is the source of beams of high-energy particles. So basically, you're being bombarded by raw unadulterated energy. Not good times, yet this gives way to an area of absolute-nothingness.

This absolute-nothingness fascinates me. Imagine you pass through a brutal magnetic energy field of unthinkable proportion and you are traveling at about 3.3 AU (Astronomical Units), one 'AU' equals the distance between the Sun and the Earth, or 93 million miles. Then you turn to look behind you and you see the light of our solar system disappear and then all that is left is you and absolute blackness. So black that you wouldn't even be able to tell that you were hurtling at thousands of miles an hour. Wow. But wait, it gets better.

Voyager 1 will then enter a heliosheath, which is vaguely described as, "a frontier of unknown thickness, and a fluid region of space." What the eff must that be like? Is that comparable to jumping into God's bird bath? After that, anyone's guess is as good as their math because there are just untold magnetic and gravitational forces out and beyond interstellar space. Interstellar space is just a long region of space that doesn't even have stars. It's just a big, almost unimaginable area of nothing. I love this stuff!

The contents on board Voyager 1 was chosen for NASA by a committee chaired by Carl Sagan of Cornell University who is now presently deceased. If discovered by alien life forms each Voyager (there was another one launched shortly before the first on August 20, 1977.) has a 12-inch gold-plated copper disc mounted on its body. The disk has recorded sounds and images of Earth designed to portray the diversity of life and culture on the planet. Instructions explaining where the spacecraft originated and how to play the disc are engraved onto an accompanying cover.Dr. Sagan and his associates assembled 115 images and a variety of natural sounds onto a gold plated copper record mounted to the hull of the Voyager 1. To this they added musical selections from different cultures and eras and spoken greetings from Earth-people in fifty-five languages. As I hope we all know, Carl Sagan was, and still is the man. His rerun specials are great to watch on Sunday mornings.

So I hope you enjoyed the little visuals of dorkiness, but it truly is amazing and wonderful. Who knows, maybe when we die you get to fly though all of that to wherever our ultimate destination of origin may be. At least that's what I like to think happens to our soul. When we pass, it shoots out through the galaxy like a rocket to wherever it all comes from. Ahh well, I digress. Peace to the Middle East.

bRAINstorming I:

I know I learned the word Filibuster at some point, but I forgot what it meant.

I saw the word pop up in the news paper a week and-a-half ago. I started counting after I saw the word 4 times. Since then, I have read the word 83 times. Lets look up the definition, shall we?

fil-i-buster (fl-bstr) - noun 1. A) The use of obstructionist tactics, especially prolonged speechmaking, for the purpose of delaying legislative action. B) An instance of the use of this delaying tactic. 2. An adventurer who engages in a private military action in a foreign country. - (does this make Rambo the greatest Filibuster of all times?!?!?!) Now, I read three papers a day most days thanks to countless train rides. I read the Boston Metro (it's like a third graders newspaper), the Boston Herald (my favorite, lots of speelin errors and lots of sports in the back pages), and finally the Boston Globe (a little more sophisticated). This word is everywhere and I believe it happens every year, and I know it's been happening since the 1900's but I hate this word more than life itself now. I am thinking of creating and marketing a new toilet brush called, "THE FILIBUSTER" - GET IT DIRTY, JUST LIKE A POLITICIAN. I positively believe that would sell well at the Dollar Store. The Weather is Absolutely Ridiculous this Month New England has had only 5 DAYS of sunshine this month. It's absoluetly staggering. I am a man of the Sun. I love it. Every white person in the area is starting to look translucent. Usually about this time, I start to tan up and shave my pecks. Not happening this month. I am managing with the bad weather, but it's depressing in ways. We have been having a Nor'Easter for the last few DAYS! But then I just think the Earth is taking a really long shower, and then I masturbate and I feel better. Back to the sun again, if it is possible, in the future, I want my casket to be shot on a collision course with the sun. It would make me very happy. P.s. - I was kidding about the peck shaving. That's the Sun. Funny thing happened last night. My fiance "A" is a big fan of American Idol. Uhg. So I sat and watched almost 2 hours of this last night, which had some good comedy moments like when Kenny G showed up on stage. "A" was starting to get all emotional about it because she watches the show from beginning to end each year (Yikes!), so about an hour and thirty-minutes into the show the Nor'Easter roaring outside knocked out the power to the entire center in my town. I smoked a little weed before American Idol was on so I could stomach it, and when all the lights went out, the immediate words out of my mouth was, "Dude,......the lights went out." Sitting beside me was "A", and this was her response. - "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." Beo - "What...What's the matter?" "A" - "Now I won't know who won American Idol!" I intially started laughing, but she made me aware I shouldn't, and then made the notation that this was the equivalent to the power going out during the Superbowl. Point well taken. Poor "A". The lights came back on about an hour later, but by then she already knew who won. She wanted to see it live.: ) Great Word of the Day Sometimes, while I'm doing something, a word comes flying out of my head. I may have heard it at one time, but I never usually know what the word means. It's really a fun game my mind plays with itself. If that's even possible. Here's the word from yesterday actually. Existential - Right?.....What the Hell does that word mean? Lets look it up shall we? ex-is-ten-tial (gz-stnshl, ks-) Beo says it (egg-sa-stential) adj. Of, relating to, or dealing with existence. Based on experience; empirical. Of or as conceived by existentialism or existentialists: an existential moment of choice. Linguistics. Of or relating to a construction or part of a construction that indicates existence, as the words there is in the sentence There is a cat on the mat. Wow, that was fun. Thanks Robdeadskin. Tune in next time kiddies for Beo's bRAINstorms.

Episode III: Revenge of the Sips

Darth Vader - Way cooler without knowing him as a human.


Well I saw the movie last Saturday night with my fiance, and Robdeadskin. I wanted to have a big, tall glass of Star Wars; but all I wound up having was a few good sips. It's sad, but I quasi-disappointed. Although, the cheesy acting almost made it all worth it. Rob felt that it was disappointing as well, but he was glad to see it and complete the journey. "A" enjoyed it, except for the two high idiots she had sitting next to her (Rob and I).

Funny thing is, I think Lucas purposely made the first couple movies for the kids, and the last one for adults. So it was a win-win-win for him as you get great sales from the kiddies loving the first two episodes, and the hungry for the dark side adults ready for episode III. Unfortunately, Lucas tried to shove way to much info into this last film when he should have pieced it in slowly through the last two. That way we would have felt a lot more of a connection to the story, allowing us to digest it better.

But no, we are forced fed how things happen with plenty of overacting and cheesy lines. There were just so many loop holes, but Lucas hopes you are so razzel dazzled by the effects that your mind thinks of nothing but the magic unfolding before you. Don't get me wrong, it was fun. But it should've been so much better. What can you do? It's a movie.

Cost for three tickets: $33 dollars.
Cost to see Darth Vader act like Godzilla: Priceless$.
Me and Rob almost pissed ourselves laughing when this happened in the movie. No one else was laughing, and maybe it was because we were stoned, but I watched the part again because a friend burned a copy of the movie onto a DVD for me already and the part is still funny. Why did he just believe Palpatine? Couldn't he sense he was lying?!?! Lemme' tell you something. The guy who played Anakin did a much better job in this one from the last. But I will never think of him inside Darth Vader because he is such a Larry. What a dork this kid was, I mean he was a little baby in the last movie and now we have to except this bitch being Darth Vader. I feel nauseous.

I think it would have been way cooler if Anakin was a young black guy that turned into James Earl Jones. Now that would be cool, except Luke and Leia would have to be mulatto, but still. Wouldn't you totally except James Earl Jones as the real Darth Vader? One of the cool parts was seeing how Darth Vader was made, because I truly enjoyed watching the guy who played Anakin in pain. Whatever, I'm a total dork.

All in all, it's cool. Just don't hype it too much in your head like I did. I heard everyone talking about a surprise ending. People on the news were coming out of the theater like, "I am not telling you the ending! It was awesome!" I thought the ending was abrupt, and what the hell was so surprising about it. This was a gay post, I apologize.

Thank you S. for the illegal copy of Episode III. The time bar at the top is fun to watch whenever I get bored with the movie.

Horrid Confessions VI:


It was a rain soaked evening and we had just finished playing a show at a club about a half a decade ago. I had somehow acquired friendships with a couple of people I no longer see. Yet, that night I somehow invite both of them to sleep over at my house. I met them when I worked at a convenience store gas station. One of the sharp rocky points I had to hit on my way down to my own personal rock bottom. I time where I thought it would be okay to kill megabucks and lottery ticket addicts, because they had such little in respect; that it might be considered a favor.

The funny thing is how you find a subculture of life when you work graveyard, and evening shifts at a gas station. People actually come to talk to employees, and then become friends with the people that work there I guess. They sip on coffee and act like they don't mind spending their time at a gas station. Some people seem like they don't want to go home to their families to soon. Some seem young and lost, and some seem like they really have no other place to turn for some kind of friendship. It was pretty refreshing actually, at first. Then the insides of people spill out after time, and become part of your world.

I became friends with a young guy who would stop in and talk to the coffee shop people inside the store, and then he asked me a question. I answered and he came over to introduce himself. We would joke, and talk about sports. He showed up more and more at night, and I began to suspect that maybe this dude was a little to cool with me. Funny enough, right around this time he started talking about some guy that was bothering him and glided through enough innuendo that he had to blurt out that he was homosexual and I stated to him that it was cool, and I actually tried to give him some advice on the situation he was in. I then made it known that I wasn't into that type of thing.

He still continued to come to the store yet, he began to bring young female friends of his. They were the bubbly, just getting out of high school age I believed he must have been. They would flash their breast in the store and do other types of flirtatious behavior. All the while the guy/kid would start talking like a girl, and calling his girl-friends sluts for showing their boobs and whatnot. As you could guess, I was very confused by all this. Here is this kid letting me know he's gay, so I worry about having him showing up at the store too much. Now he starts routinely bring around boisterous young girls for his visits.

So after time, I invite him to bring some girls to a show for my band. He ends up coming with one girl, and she wasn't what we would want to bring home to Mom. The night goes on, and the girl is flirting with me and letting me know how she should sleep over. All the while, the homosexual kid is laughing and partying through my own blurred memories. So I break, and I tell the girl she can sleep over. My friends try to save me and tell me not to go home with her. I didn't care. I was already in my own hell, why not invite someone else.

The thing is, is that the girl said the homosexual guy had to sleep over too. I though about this for a minute, and said okay. Why?.....I have no idea. But it's not going where you're probably thinking, so don't worry.

We arrive back at my parents house, and we headed upstairs to my bedroom as the girl and guy trail in behind me. I sat down in a chair and said, "So, what's the deal here?" Quietly, the girl slowly straddled up my leg and place one of her breasts in my mouth while the gay guy watched. I strange smile came over his face as I saw his head over her shoulder. It was oddly uncomfortable enough for me to stop and say, "We should hit the light." But arousingly dangerous enough for me to tell the gay guy, "You are sleeping on the floor." Which he nodded in agreement.

So when the lights were hit me and this girl engaged in acts, while the guy laid on the floor in the dark. I had to stop at one point, because no matter how many toxins I was under there was not going to be a mistake made, and have me regret doing this for the rest of my life. Not from a situation like this. So I went across the hall to a spare room where I stashed condoms. I could hear the guy and girl giggling together in my bedroom behind me. "What in the hell was I doing?", I thought to myself. "Where the hell was I going in my life? I'm about to make love to a girl in my room with a gay man on the floor. Is there something wrong with that?" I had no idea.

So I decided to treat her like the trash she was acting like, and to totally ignore the fact that the dude was there. Knowing full well that if there was ever a time when someone might try to do something homosexually stupid to me, it would be now. All worked out well though. I got what I wanted, she got what she wanted, and the guy....who the hell knows. But I guess I hoped he enjoyed it too. After that night I decided to cut ties with both of them. I was just sickened by the event, as I just didn't like the direction I was headed with these people I barely knew. Plus, I got fired from the gas station too.

The last time I saw the girl was actually this weekend, oddly enough. The guy, I told him I no longer wanted to hang out, and the last time I saw him was when I started my current job a few years back. He was actually waiting for me at the top of a stairwell as I was coming off the train going to work. I was in shock, and a little nervous that he was there since it was about 6am. I told him that he shouldn't do that, and I had to get to work. What does it all mean?

A Must See

I have to admit, POSTSECRET is a sinful pleasure I enjoy.


The idea is brilliant, and it's not as enjoyable if you don't take the time to read the directions before you start reading the guilty confessions. The gist of it is, is that you send this guy Frank a post card to what appears to be his home address. The rules are A.) It has to be true (however I'm sure there must be an exception here or there), and B.) You haven't told anyone else yet. He posts scans of the postcard confessions every Sunday. What a great premise!

This guy doesn't have to do a thing and he lets society create itself on his blog, and the stuff people admit range from stupid, to amazing, to downright frightful. I could of sworn I saw on the news that some guy was releasing a book on all these guilty confessions, and as you scroll down, he adds tidbits about how the site is getting news attention, and how he has to delete old ones because he can't archive them all. So as time goes on they are slowly deleted, but I bet you that was him I saw on the news. People amaze me, and this site is a great proverbial dip stick into humanity. I hope you check it out and enjoy.

I would send him a postcard, but I always tell my secrets. I find it gives me clarity, and makes me feel alive. Not hiding like all these people that send him the postcards. All right, maybe I'm lying a little about the secrets thing. But if I admitted some of my deepest secrets I think they would track down this site and arrest me. But at least I know what they are, and I'm not hiding from them. That's important.

A little update for the near future: I'm thinking of creating a rap song for the introduction to my blog. I haven't finished it yet, but it's called "Ah Sugar, It's Beo." I'm also trying to think of a way so that all browsers will launch the song and my lyric track at the same time, because if they don't match up, I'll sound like even more of a dork when my raps are off beat. The Spanish Cook,..A.K.A. Beo intro is getting old to me. If the rap doesn't work, I'll think of something else, but if it gets made............................if it gets made.....................It's gonna be crazy son!

Your in all Anxieties

Why do I sometimes get "Stage Fright" at the Urinal?


This is something women never have to deal with. I get sever anxieties sometimes when I am taking a piss and I guy comes and stands right next to me and starts pissing too. Why? I bet a psychologist would have a field day with that one also. I start to over-think and all of a sudden, I can feel my urethral valve constricting. It actually starts to give me pain and I find myself thinking of things to relax myself into pissing. Moon craters was my first thought. Then unfortunately, and I mean no disrespect by this, I thought of urinating on a woman. Then I realized how ridiculous I was being, but by then it's just to damn late because you're embarrassed about being a freaking fool. What is the big deal? Who cares, just piss?

Sometimes, it is that easy. Especially if I've been drinking a little bit. I just go in the bathroom from a bar and just piss with people talking, and next to me and whatnot. But, I think the alcohol dumbed down all the over activity in my brain, or the little voices so to speak. (I stopped drinking, unfortunately in January.)

I wonder what the problem is? I appreciate my genital size. I have been hit on by gay men, so I think sometimes I worry that the guy next to me may be gay. But why should that bother me? Do I feel vulnerable or something? Am I just such a sicko in the head that I think the other person may be a sicko too, and that makes me uncomfortable standing next to myself. The doors are endless to unlock, and I'm willing to take any opinion. So I'll end this off with an embarrassing "Urinal Stage Fright" story.

About six years ago I was at a movie theater during slow hours. There must have only been a few people in the whole place and I had seen a movie with an ex-girlfriend at the time. So I told her that I had to go to the bathroom, and to wait up for me. So I head in, and I mosey on up to a urinal, and just as I was about to go; two dudes walk in. One was beatboxing, the other was rapping. Instant shut off material, but unfortunately I had to go since halfway through the movie, so this was very painful to hold in. So I zip up, and darted into a toilet stall and instantly relieved myself. You know what the two dudes started doing. They friggin' started laughing at me outside the stall. What would you do in that situation, and why was I in that situation? I was pissed, and embarrassed. I waited for them to leave, and then I told my ex-girlfriend the whole story when I met up with her outside the bathroom. Yeah, I know you didn't need to know that story.

p.s. - Does anyone know what happened to Thurston from Scattered Thoughts of an Aborted Mind? I may have to do another R.I.P. post for a deceased blogger.

The Naked Truth

Travis Bickle - "Pow...pow....pow." My sentiments exactly.


The days continue to go on. Each one predicated by things I need, and by others needs. Not knowing exactly what the reason for anything is. Just continuing with the motions, staying on a course to God only knows where. When everything is so messed up, and wrong. Yet, we stay on the path because it's what we know. Change brings uncertainty, so we do it as slowly as possible and hope for the best. Meanwhile, my small life, while important and special, is ultimately controlled by a national society machine that has overgrown itself into statistical categories.

"A" and I got to sit down and watch Taxi Driver this weekend, which unbelievably, she had never seen. It's so funny how you watch the movie, and you can make correlations to things you encounter in your own life. People and ideas gone wrong, and sexuality saturating everything you see and touch. Text, media, relationships drip with innuendo and the animalistic need for intimacy and control. Meanwhile, our children go along for the ride. They are having sex younger and younger as time goes on. Fragile young girls that are finding out too quickly that their bodies are objects of desire. They do things they regret in the hope of finding love and acceptance because they never got it from their parents.

Everything is wrong, and nothing is really right. Religion is absurd because fallible humans follow it. Our way of life is run through greed and sex. It's like a scum you can't wash off. I've embraced the sexual aspect of life, and sometimes it feels more like a disease. The constant urge to pound the opposite sex like a piece of meat. Does it make me happy to do these things, absolutely yes. But I feel for women, because they give their bodies in the purest form of love. While the majority of the time, men are just appeasing an urge to spread more of our race across the planet, to the point where there is not much room left. What the eff is wrong with us.

You're just like all the rest of them, cold and distant. I routinely smile at people I don't know when I walk to work, because I get a kick out of their responses. In return, I usually get a stone face staring straight ahead. Or a look away, almost seeming scared to make actual eye contact. What the hell is wrong with people, what are you scared of? What is so wrong that you can't show me that you are happy too? Before the end of the day comes, I wind up finding myself doing the same stone face thing to everyone else, and it hurts when I actually catch someone smiling at me out of the corner of my eye. Then I feel like I'm just a part of the scum that I can't wash off myself. Just like your anus, it's never fully clean.

I just keep breathing, and working, and fucking, and eating, and shitting, and scrubbing, and comeing, again, and again, and again. I find myself staring at the wall while I'm in the bathtub. Just staring at the water droplets running down the plastic fabricated shell. Wondering where it's all going, not knowing if it's all for the right thing. Where the hell does Jesus and God fit in to all of this. Are we all just a big mess of animals with potential for something great, yet we are straying from the path?

None of us have control, not even the happy little families that have it all figured out mentally. Behind the scenes they're just lost little kids like their children, habitual creatures with more experience. With a majority of people having children, that shouldn't have a right to have any at all. Just crap, making more crap with no one really caring about what's happening with anyone.

There has to be something more, yet it's as unexplainable as it is attainable. I don't know what the answer is because there is no real question yet. I'll just keep explaining it as best as I can for absolutely no reason. We're all sinners in God's eyes, with the pleasures of the flesh as the main course of our existence. What does it all mean, are we just a complex plague? Funny how sorrow is needed to appreciate joy.

What the Hell Chappelle

UPDATE - 5/12/05:
Comedian Dave Chappelle has checked himself into a mental health facility in South Africa and has remained there since late April, according to a source close to the situation. The same source denies rumors of drug abuse. Other sources have also told EW that the future of Chappelle's Show - the hit Comedy Central series that was entering its third season - is more uncertain than the network has suggested.


Dave Chappelle has gone, and smoked himself retarded.


And I got the quotes from Charlie Murphy to prove it, bitches!

Dave is having severe anxiety trouble with pressure mounting to continue coming out with new material. He has been witnessed at clubs and other partying spots having anxiety attacks, and at one point, almost falling out of a window to get some air.

Charlie Murphy, Eddie Murphy's brother was quoted anonymously at first. But then his name was leaked.
Charlie had this to say, "I saw him start trippin' when the buzz started to get real loud, I think he was in shock after the first season, and then {during} the second, it hit him that he was the man. That freaked him. And then came the pressure of living up to expectations for the third season. He's never been there - where something's so good and you got to come even stronger the next time. It was too much."

"Everyone knows Dave likes to have fun," says a music-industry pal. "I wouldn't say it's out of control ... but at some point that has to affect you if you've got a regular gig."

I don't know about you, but I see some Richard Pryor-esque potential here. I hope Dave totally flips this man, and does some material on this insane event. Imagine where he could go with that skit! The whole damn production has stopped indefinitely because Dave is bugged out somewhere, in somebody's apartment, doing who the hell knows what. The dudes a genius, and he wasn't ready to be recognized. "A" hates his comedy, but I get it. He takes the front off people, tries his best at imitations, and is overtly honest about what it is all about today. He is crazy son!

Where the hell is Dave Chappelle, and why isn't this question on the news at night!? Where is he? I wanna know. I need my Samuel L. Jackson beer, and you know who got crowned as, "The New Lawd of Darkness."

He was last seen in full black-face for a skit on his show, when he turned to a journalist who tried to ask him a question and Dave responded, "Bet you never met a real live coon before!"

So I Purchased Some Man Thongs this Weekend

It can't be good, when your girlfriend puts on your underwear by accident.


Don't worry, I already feel odd enough, and I don't care. It was a downward spiral. Throughout high school, I gave up on underwear altogether. With my penis, most of the time falling out of my oversized pants. You know the ones you wore when you were being cool. This was always an easy way to get a laugh from the girls, so it continued until I began to wear basketball shorts.

This made everything easier, because when I would routinely run into pickup games, I was ready to go. Although they were bunchy in pants, it was do-able. Then I started to have pain in my balls. I was jumping for rebounds in a game, then I was jumping around in pain. Gravity was doing a number on the sloppily suspended orbs in my groin. So I had to pick some underwear I liked.

I hate tighty whities, because they remind me of my father. I hate the boxer briefs because they are tight on the legs and I need to feel free. I decided to go with boxers for a while, but it just felt so impersonal and frankly, boring. But I did this until my recent relationship. Then a while ago, we were at a clothing store and I looked at a box of Men String Bikini's. I love women's underwear because they are so revealing and tantalizing. "Why can't I wear the same thing, and feel sexy too?!?!", I asked my self quietly in the store. They were for men. Sure, maybe for homosexual men, but I know who I am and I am very secure in my manhood. So I said F it, and I bought like four packs of them.

"A" was laughing when we were in the checkout line, but so was I. We got home and I put them on, and I have to admit dude. I am dead sexy in the men's string bikini's. I feel good in them man, the best thing is the hammock feature it gives you so you have your whole package in this big (or little) cotton bulge. So, time went on and the string bikini thing got to be old hat, and to tell you the truth, it really isn't that different that any of the other types except for the sexy feeling and better fit to be honest. Then the downward spiral continued.

I started feeling sexy bro, and now I just want to feel sexier everyday. So I mentioned to "A", "I think I might wind up getting a pair of thong underwear."

"For guys, right?", "A" asks.

"Yeah, of course. What do you mean by that?", I say.

So this weekend we were out at the clothing store again and I stroll by the underwear section. I see a pair of men's thongs and I grab the box of five. I purchase them, and I'm wearing a pair right now while I type this at work, and I've got to tell you. I feel a little bizarre. I've had a cotton strap up my ass all day, and I feel wonderful. I swear to God to you, I am not gay or bi-sexual. Even though it would be okay if I was. I just feel like, I have an opportunity to wear a little secret that no one knows about but me. Girls get to do this all the time, while men's sexiness goes out the window on a daily basis. I'm telling you dude, real men wear thongs bro.

But it is odd the first time you catch your girl wearing a pair of your underwear.

Well,.........That Totally Sucked.

Empty seats, Danny Angie, and Jiri Welsch. Kinda sums it up.


Alright, so that isn't fair. Still funny though. In all reality, the season went very well compared to where it was going. Danny Ainge did the right thing by getting rid of Antoine a year or so ago, and then got him back right when we needed a lift. The funny thing is, that it just isn't enough to get them over the top. Antoine Walker, and Paul Pierce are great basketball players. But neither one is great enough to do what legends do, and that means pretty much be perfect a good percentage of the time. I know, I know, it's easy to say and hard to do. I'm just saying.

It's kind of funny how it is with Paul here. Some people see the great star in him, others see the immature scowl and ridiculous shot selection. It's only ridiculous when he misses though. You see how it's tough to call? Antoine is Boston through, and through. He just hasn't won it all for us yet. I feel bad for him, because he really wants it. Paul and him both do, I know that. Just couldn't get it done, game 7 in their house. That was painful to watch when they hit the bench.

My Father has proclaimed Mark Blount as, "The new legitimate excuse for a piece of sh@t." Yeah, I pretty much agree there. I wonder who wants to be the next Chris Wallace, and pick him up after a nice dinner. Overall, I think Danny did a good job though. I think Doc Rivers kind of lost control of the team near the stretch, but it always looks like the coach when the players aren't hitting their shots. Ah well,....how can I complain. In four years I've gotten to experience four different championships. That doesn't happen often, and more than likely won't continue. We'll see though.......I'll be watching.

At least Danny got some horses in the stables.

This One's for Big William

Now all them squiggly lines is what God calls, Tectonic Plates. Yup.

An accountant friend of mine, God bless his soul, argued with me that Boston couldn't have a substantial earthquake since the nearest fault line is so far out in the ocean. It seems like a reasonable train of though except that he's a regular jackass.

We know the Earth is like a big e-fing broken egg covered with fault lines. The truth is that a tectonic fault called, "The North American Plate", is hundreds of miles into the Atlantic, but that doesn't mean if it shifted it wouldn't create a problem of epic proportion to the city of Boston.

Downtown Boston is built on soft ground, and none of the buildings were designed for earthquakes even after it had one. An egregious error by our state and national security unit, that we'll all whine about and blame when people, and possibly loved ones are killing in buildings that will sink into a gigantic sink hole; and when it mixes with water will turn into something reminiscent of quicksand. What a jackass. Just kidding Bill, I love ya buddy.

To all a good night.

What are You Feeling Today?

Maybe we can have some fun today? I'm busy getting everything done for my finals today, so I thought I might turn it around and have you sound off on any issues you'd like. Then we will use the comments section to discuss.

If not, that's okay. You can ask me anything if you cannot think of anything to talk about. I will answer all questions with the utmost honesty. Talk about issues you think are important if you must. Whatever, it will be fun and I'll get to finish up my studying. Peace to the Middle East.

Classic Odd Quotes IIII

Laura Bush-I want to smoke pot with her, on a bed, in just our undies.

Sorry, that was uncalled for. Laura has come out with a torrent of out of control quotes of late. It seems she is getting more comfortable now seeing as they groovy couple made it for a final term, so she unleashed a few doozies at last Saturday night's White House Correspondents' Association Dinner.

- "I saw my in-laws down at the ranch over Easter. We like it down there. George didn't know much about ranches when we bought the place. Andover and Yale don't have a real strong ranching program. But I'm proud of George. He's learned a lot about ranching since that first year when he tried to milk the horse. What's worse, it was a male horse."

- "Now, of course, he spends his days clearing brush, cutting trails, taking down trees, or, as the girls call it, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. George's answer to any problem at the ranch is to cut it down with a chainsaw -- which I think is why he and Cheney and Rumsfeld get along so well."

How do you really feel Laura?

Then just a couple of days ago she done lost her mind at a Rose Garden ceremony for the British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, when she broke out some "Yo mama" jokes.

Apparently they were so bad, that most didn't get published except for this one we've all used at one point.

- "Yo mama's so hairy, her armpits look like she has Don King in a headlock."

Your daughter Jenna seems to be just my type too Laura. hmmmm

A Few of my Favorite Things

The Cosby Show Reruns - and Spring Trees Budding.

I have been thinking about both today. I've been looking outside and the day looks wonderful. All the trees are starting to bud with flowers or leaves. The smell of pollen is in the air (sorry for all those that are allergic). Life feels good and the Celtics are on tonight. Then I thought of this...

The Cosby Show being on the T.V. on a nice summer evening. I make myself a toasted peanut butter and jelly with a cold glass of milk. I smile and let Bill Cosby make me feel good, and watch him make funny faces at Claire while they always try to get it on, yet have their plans foiled by the Cosby kids. Ah, we love them anyways.

The spring time and the Cosby family go hand in hand.

Is this Story Local or National?

Esteban Carpio - Shouldn't he be considered the real Hannibal Lectar.


I'm interested in knowing how much coverage this story is getting. A quick abstract of the story is that Mr. Caprio was arrested in Rhode Island for a stabbing. He was brought into the police headquarters where he grabbed Detective James Allen handgun and shot, and killed him. Then he jumped out of a third floor window and was capture shortly thereafter.

The image above is what the police say happened when he fell out of the window, but we all know what really happened. He is wearing the mask because he supposedly had uncontrolled saliva, and had previously tried to bite an officer. Life is a game and your government wants you to watch the game. You take a risk by playing in the game, and you could do this by a number of ways. Esteban, while quite possibly mental ill, got in the game by getting caught up in crime. Then he took front and center in the game when he killed a cop. Very scary place to be, because the game is much bigger than any one individual. So the resulting image occurs, and you should have seen his mother bug out in court. "My baby, my baby, look what cha did!"

Yeah I probably would have acted the same way, but he killed a cop. I don't like cops that much either, but you have to expect some serious feedback if you kill one. He is supposedly insane, as just recently he attacked three more guards after they found him in his cell trying to swallow his bed sheets. That has got to go in a horror movie. So they go in to stop him and he acts calm for a little while, but then, he lashes out and uppercuts one of the guards; and by the time they finally restrain him he has injured two of the guards. Are we sure this guy isn't really Ron Artest and they are just cover up his name?

Anyways, he was just in court for the assault on the corrections officers and he wouldn't let them shackle his ankles, and he wouldn't pose for photos so the court was delayed an hour. Is this guy getting national attention. Before all is said and done he may start a new horror movie sequels and prequels (a la Nightmare on Elm Street). Plus, his family and neighbors came out with awesome shirts I'm trying to get my hands on. On the back it shows a smooth, clean cut, and good looking Esteban Carpio. Then on the front it has the hellacious image of him swollen, in the mask. A must have for my collection. Have any of you heard of this story?

I'm Going to Complain for a Minute

Algebra - is the only thing that is making my life somewhat not enjoyable.

So I should consider myself lucky. Although, it is a horrible head game I've been playing with myself. While kids half my age may have already started calculus in high school, I am struggling with algebra at age 26.

I do my school work after my actual job. I go to a learning center at a nearby college and take tests as I go through the chapters. I've been trudging my way through the semester, since last semester they cut funding for the learning center which means half of the tutoring staff had to be cut. So I would wind up waiting an hour to talk with one of them this semester and it was totally lame. They would help me as quick as possible, then frustratingly go on to the next kid. I wish they warned me before I joined the course.

In the end it is really my own fault though. It just feels better to blame the tutors. I could have spent more time studying and figuring it out myself, although I have done a fair share of that. I didn't give my 150% like I usually do for my other classes. So now there is a little less than two weeks left in the semester and I choose now to panic. I'm asking friends now for their help when I should have asked months ago. Why do I do stupid things sometimes? Damn, now I have to worry about how things are going to turn out, and I'm going to talk to my professor tonight and take a chapter test as well. Then ask another Professor for an extension for the other algebra course I need to take.

Things will work out. I thought I'd just let anyone who cared out there know that I'm not always happy. I cry man tears sometimes. : (

Convenient Store Dummy

People like him shouldn't procreate.

So, during last weekend I stopped by a convenient store that I frequent to buy milk, since it's $2.19 for 1% there, and $5.65 for the same thing at the grocery store. Why do we drink cow milk and not breast milk?

Anyways, the guy at the register is talking to a 20-30 something year old woman at the counter. They are chatting away until I bring up my milk. I approach and say, "Don't stop talking on my account, it's fine. I like hearing conversation." as I smile at them.

The register guy continues, "Yeah, I was just telling her how I am teaching my 3 yr. old how to fire a hand gun."

The girl says, "I just don't think that's right, you shouldn't have children near firearms."

I start laughing and say, "How old is your son?"

Register guy, "He's 3, but he's really smart. I've taught him how to put the safety on and when he's 4 I'm gonna teach em' how to shoot rifles."

I'm now signing my credit card slip and looking at the girl who hasn't walked away from this foolish, and dumb near fully retarded individual register guy. She actually looks like she is thinking of something more to add to the conversation. The whole atmosphere started to really piss me off, especially since she still hadn't thought of anything useful to say yet.

So I look at the register guy and say, "Hey, do you really think a kid that age needs to learn how to fire a gun? What is the benefit?"

Register guy shoots back arrogantly, "Absolutely, so he can protect himself!", and he said it with such conviction. Like he overly believed this is what all kids should be taught.

I gather the bagged milk and understood why this 30-something yr. old man was behind a register. I said back, "Dude, that's ridiculous. Hopefully he picks up something useful, like gardening." I took a chance there, that he might have picked up on my subtle homosexual hopeful gesture. Luckily, it went right over his head.

Register dude responds, "Yeah, I like gardening a little. So he'll probably like that too."

"Have a good one buddy." I ended and walked out the door. I fought the urge all the way to the car to shout out, "Maybe he could learn to tend the rabbits!"

Mystery Music Review

My late friend S. from Junkyard Full of False Starts gave me a music CD to review a while back. I now feel sorry he never got to see my review. So here it is now.

The unfortunate thing is that S. never told me the name of the CD, nor did he label any of the tracks so I have no idea about anything. I'm going to guess the band is Alaska! I have never heard the band before, but I know S. liked them so that's my best guess. I thoroughly enjoyed the CD. It was a cross between Sonic Youth and the scene from the first Friday the 13th movie near the end, when the mother gets her head chopped off. I would have given it an A+ if I could have understood the words. They were sometimes muddled with the base line. A lyric sheet would upgrade it from the B+.

So I will go on to try to explain my feelings from the CD since I post a million songs on here already.

Track 1: Guitars wailing for a straight 2 mins in unison. Almost like Scottish bagpipes. I like harmonic stuff like this. Then a downtrodden beat with a plucky forest love child guitar strumming. I liked this one.

Track 2: Nice,... a little funk bump rock. I feel like I am highway shrubbery during this song. And I collected a blown by plastic grocery bag in my twiggy clutches. Again I need the lyrics bad.

Track 3: This is a good summer song. Quirky, little feedback funky plucks. Very much what I like. Very interesting emotion music.

Track 4: Whoa, some organ freaky deeky music to start. Then into a mellochaotic rant rock. "Cha, cha, cha, cha, cha." Can't tell if that's is the drums or the singer, but I like it. Nice song. Oh, at 3:27 I love the echo fade off from the song. F yeah. I want to live in that noise. That's what my heaven will sound like. It ends with that while trailing it for a few minutes. Perfect.

Track 5: This song sounds like a bad rendition of when Lee Renaldo sings for Sonic Youth. Luckily the whole song is saved 6:58 into the song when a whaling violin goes into an awesome beat and mellow flicker guitar. That's what I'm talking about. I wish you could hear this. I could listen to this part for hours. Mmmmmhmmm.

Track 6: I love this one, "Lives are dreamin', Lives are dreamin, Lives are dreamin eye.." Boy it would really be cool if I knew what the repeating chorus is. I think I've heard this before.

Track 7: Alright. Crazy rock with flange voice. Sounds good, but not to super cool.

Track 8: 11 seconds of nothing, then your hit with drum snare reverb. I likey. Then almost religious hymn slow rock. Very nice and odd feeling. Like I'm me, yet I'm combined with dirt. I lie in the ground and my gullet is filled with rain water. Unique. I think the vocals are backwards. Wish I could understand this. I love it.

Track 9: This song mostly annoyed me for some reason. Then I realized why, it rocks with a lot of screaming that I can't understand.

Track 10: Interesting intro into a nice beat. Like a just entered the bathroom of an old house, and I may not want to check the medicine cabinet. Some backward Jimmy Hendrix guitar playing in here. I'm liking it. Everything goes flicker delay near 2:50...nice. Back to cool guitar. Ends with more backward noises.

Track 11: Nice rock with picking at the top of the guitar being done. I just popped some Percocet. It feels good. Itching on my face. Total junkie rock. Love the way this guys drops his voice in the chorus. This might be my favorite along with track 5, ends with a man saying, "Yeah."

Track 12: Starts with classic 50's music. Sounds like a T.V. from my past. Cool. I enjoy the rest of the song as well.

Track 13: White snow, storm wind sound. Into graceful melody. That's it? Oh man, spooky. 1:30 into the song it goes into a 50's trumpet swing style music. No sing, just some swing. Very spooky when I'm alone in a dark room right now. I feel like Leatherface is behind me right now.

Well. That's it. That was awesome. I really enjoyed it and it was different in some ways. I need lyrics to fully appreciate it and hopefully I'll find out some day. So thanks S. Now I leave him with a picture of two things he loved dearly.